Rajanikath Jokes 351 to 400

351. Rajnikanth collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon

352. Rajnikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

353. Rajnikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajnikanth

354. Rajnikanth can make onions cry

355. Rajnikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage

356. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself

357. Rajnikanth can answer a missed call

358. Rajnikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa

359. Chuck Norris once met Rajnikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet

360. Time and tide wait for Rajnikanth

361. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajnikanth’s fist

362. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajnikanth

363. You dont google rajnikanth…u rajnikanth google

364. Rajnikanth killed the Dead Sea

365. Rajnikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there

366. Rajnikanth leaves messages before the beep

367. Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door

368. Rajnikanth can build a snowman out of rain

369. Rajnikanth taught Voldemort Parseltongue

370.  Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died

371. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajnikanth is on

372. Rajnikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors

373.  Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret

374. Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise

375. Rajnikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold

376. Water boils faster when Rajnikanth stares at it

377. Rajnikanth goes to court and sentences the judge

378. Rajnikanth calls Voldemort by his name

379. Rajnikanth has counted to infinity, twice

380. Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone

381. Rajnikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated

382. Rajnikanth knows what women really want

383. Rajnikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the
earth rotates

384. Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear

385. According to Rajnikanth, 87 Jokes = 870 Jokes

386. 1day rajni was standng bsides a building! A girl jumpd 4m d top of that building 2 suicide that time rajni was watching time in his watch the girl fal on rajni’s hand and her legs and hand got tied 2day that girl is known as rakhi (rakhi sawant)

387. This Msg. is being Sent in the Interest of Humanity- “Guys Please Stop making Jokes on Rajnikant or else he will Delete the INTERNET

388. Once upon a time rajnikant used a tooth powder to get strong teeth….. . . . . . . . . today that powder is used as AMBUJA CEMENT

389. Once Rajinikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to Heavy Play

390. Rajinikanth’s keyboard doesn’t has Question Mark (?) Key… Cauz he always has the Answers

391. When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live

392. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth

393. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things

394. When Rajnikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth

395. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajnikanth killing people faster than Death can process them

396. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further

397. Rajanikant does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die

398. Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way

399. Rajnikant once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

400. Rajnikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds

Rajanikath Jokes 301 to 350

301. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door

302. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it

303. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.

304. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

305. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise

306. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

307. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice

308. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013

309. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost

310. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano

311. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club

312. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai

313. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird

314. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa

315. Rajinikanth can handle the truth

316. Rajinikanth can speak Braille

317. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks

318. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks

319. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did

320. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

321. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage

322. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost

323. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself

324. Rajinikant can lick his elbows

325. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost

326. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds          

327. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult

328. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

329. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday

330. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out

331. Rajinikanth knows what women really want

332. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon

333. Rajinikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog

334. Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear

335. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth

336. Rajinikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.

337. Rajinikanth is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world

338. Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

339. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror

340. If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India

341. When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message

342. Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying “BANG”

343. Rajnikanth can judge a book by it’s cover

344. Rajnikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost

345. Rajnikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the
speed of Rajnikanth

346. Rajnikanth can handle the truth

347. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajini…kanth allowed to live.

348. Rajnikanth can drown a fish

350. The last time Rajnikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance

Rajanikath Jokes 251 to 300

251. Rajnikanth’s maths teacher asked him to say 1,2,3,4 when he was in Kindergarden Rajnikanth started showing off by speaking 1 square , 2 square , 3square ,4square etc

252.  Rajnikanth’s english teacher asked him to say johny johny poem in Kindergarden Rajnikanth started showing off by speaking Johny Johny in Tamil and that too reverse

253. Rajnikanth’s hindi teacher asked him to say Ka , kha , Ga , Gha in Kinderganrden Rajnikanth got very mad at Hindi teacher and started applying for Visa for USA as kid and run away from India to escape hindi.

254. What is Rajnikanth’s cell number ? 7256452684

255. By what address does Rajnikanth receive couriers ? Rajnikanth , Madras

256. What is Rajnikanth’s Personel email address ? Rajnikanth@Rajnikanth.Rajnikanth

257. When Rajnikanth came to know Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi namumkin bhi hai he took it as a challenge ?
He acted in Madrasi Version of Don and allowed the Police men to catch him very easily . Since then its said
Madrasi Don ko pakadna aasan hi nahi timewastage bhi hai

258. What does Rajnikanth’s action movie dubbed for hollywood become ? A comedy movie

259.  What does Rajnikanth’s Romantic movie dubbed for hollywood become ? A horror movie

260.  What does Rajnikanth’s thriller movie dubbed for hollywood become ? An art movie

261. once ragnikanth and Bill Gates were talking
Bill gates:-”my house is so big that a train can pass through it”
Ragnikanth:-”that’s all? my house is so big that if i call someone from a corner of my house the i’ll get roming charges”

262. once there was sheep which was shouting “behha,behha,behha” ragnikanth got angry and bet on it’s neck today it’s famously known as justin bieber (cause he shouts “baby,baby,baby”)

263. ragnikanth trew a stone to the india ocean and now it’s become sri lanka

264. once a small boy came to raginikanth’s house ragni said “a kaun?”
today he’s famously know as AKON

265. Rajinikanth can land on the sun at night time.

266. Rajanikanth can escape from black hole

267. Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast.

268. Rajanikanth can draw a straight line with compass.

269. Rajanikanth can find square root of -1

270. Continental drifts did not happen. Rajanikanth did it.

271. Rajanikanth never takes a bath. The water comes to him

272. A dinosaur attacked Rajanikanth once. That’s why dinos are extinct now

273. Rajanikanth can beat Brazil football team alone.

274. Rajanikanth took 12 wickets in one match

275. Rajanikanth has root account in windows

276. Rajanikanth got nobel prize in acting

277. Rajanikanth can speak English in Spanish.

278. When pope walks with Rajanikanth, people asks “who is that guy in robe?”

279. Rajanikanth can boil water at 0 degree c

280. When Rajanikanth rings somebody, it does not play ringtone. It yells “Run, Its Rajani!

281. Once Rajnikant decided to play cricket in monsoon…the rain got cancelled

282. Rajnikanth can make Jayasuriya retire!

283. Rajini can write Hindi in Capital letters                                

284. Once all media men went to rajinikanth to ask if he feels bad of the jokes circulated. Rajini said : “DO YOU THINK THEY ARE JOKES”

285. Rajinikanth has seen the face of the lady in the cartoon Tom & Jerry

286. Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!
287.  In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

288. Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

289. Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

290. Everytime you see Internal Server Errors on PP, it’s Rajnikant trying to join PP. PP shuts itself down in fear.

291. Students are not studying for CAT but RAT - Rajinikanth Aptitide test.

292.  Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced

293. Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins??

294. Rajinikanth can make onions CRY

295.  Alfred Noble won RAJNIKANTH award

296. While playing once Rajnikanth said 'statue' to a girl..now its know as 'Statue of Liberty

297. Rajinikanth can divide by zero

298. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.

299. Rajinikanth can drown a fish

300. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs

one best message

A Message sent from my friend.

"A BOY was tired of his Girlfriend's messages which always said i love you.. miss you.. etc..

One night he received a message from her.. but he didn't read it.. and instead slept..

Next day he got a call from his mom..who said..

"she had a car accident last night and died..."

then immediately he read the message she had sent yesterday..

it contained..

"Dear please come in-front of your house.. I met with an accident and its my last wish to see you..."


Moral for Girls:- Atleast while you are dying.. forget the free messages and make a call...

Rajanikath Jokes 201 to 250

201. In Madras when a teacher becomes angry on a stupid kid he nomore tells- “get out of class you rascala” why ? becuase now he says get out you Rajnikanth

202.  When Rajnikanth came to know that future is going to be Robot age what did he do ? He started converting to Robot

203.  When Rajnikanth came to know that In nuclear holocaust only a cockroach will survive what did Rajni do ? He started converting to cockroach

204. Who can terrorise Osama Bin Laden ? Rajnikanth

205. What can be more poisonous than a cobra’s bite ? Rajnikanth’s smile

206. Who can be more secretive than secret agent ? Rajnikanth

207. Who can be more corrupt than A Raja ? Rajnikanth

208. Who can be more handicapped and aethist than Karunanidi ? Rajnikanth

209.  Who can teach Yoga to Baba Ramdev ? Rajnikanth

210. Who can teach economics to Manmohan Singh ? Rajnikanth

211.  Who can teach Amitach bachhan how to act ? Rajnikanth

212. Who can be more Robotic than a Robot ? Rajnikanth

213. Who can crack the best Rajnikanth joke ? Rajnikanth

214. What does Rajnikanth call people making joke on him ? He calls them Rajnikanth

215. Who won Bobby Darling ka Swaiymwar ? Rajnikanth

216. What will KBC be called if Rajnikanth hosts it ? Kaun banega Bankrupt

217. When Rajnikanth acts in a pornographic movie , what does he choose to act ? condom

218. Why does Mutaiah Muralidharan balling not called chucking the ball and not get banned from ICC ? because Rajnikanth calls it spin balling

219. When world was coming to end in 2012 five people fought tooth and nail for the post of Narkasura – king of hell who were they ? karunanidhi , Suresh Kalmadu , A Raja , Obama and Rajnikanth . who won ? Rajnikanth

220. Hitler is getting sleepless nights in his grave why ? Rjanikanth is going to take away the title of world’s biggest mass murderer from him

221. Karunanidhi was very jealous why there is no monutain like Himalaya in Madras , he ordered Rajni to do something about it .Rajni ate a lot of Idli Dhosa and next day did so much shit that his shit mountain was higher than Himalya

222. Karunanidhi was very jealous why Madras has no wind , no rains , no water only heat , he ordered Rajni to do something about it . Rajni ate lot of rotten tamrind rice and next day farted so much than Madras became very windy and drank lot of beer and pissed till there were new rivers flowing in Madras

223. Why does Tsunami often come in Madras ? Rajnikanth has frequent bad stomach

224. Tom cruise lives in New York city , Amitabh bachhan drives a Honda City but Rajnikanth only drives and lives in SIMPLI CITY

225. When Rajnikanth opens his pant zip the world gets infected with – AIDS

226. When Rajnikanth takes down his sunglasses the world gets infected with – Influenza

227. When Rajnikanth gives his brain the world gets infected with – Brain Tumour

228. When Rajnikanth becomes depressed world enters into great deep depression

229.  When Rajnikanth becomes sad the world gets infected by blood cancer

230. Latest fact -the bikes from Yamaha company are R1, R6, RXZ, RX
It wish no doubt R means RAJNIKANTH

231. Then once Rajnikanth bunked a whole day in school…
Since that day,the day is called Sunday.

232.  If you put Amitabh bachhan in xerox machine which has black ink overflowing the outcome is Rajnikanth.

233. Rajnikant can easily fly like a elephant

234. Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for RAJNI to die before they attack

235. RAJNI does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it

236. If you want a list of RAJNI’S enemies, just check the extinct species list

237. When RAJNI had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

238. European scientists have told that Madras is not part of earth its part of a planet that fell from galaxy which is billion light years away from earth and Rajnikanth is ruler of that alien planet

239. Rajni ne ek baar car se hawa me dive maari,, aaj us car ka naam hawai jahaaz h…. mind it.

240. Rajnikant used to take sunbath over the sun so his skin is bit dark

241. Black hole is dark because Rajnikant escaped from there with sun and turned off all the emergency backup lights

242. There was a donkey which never said NO. there was reward of one crore who makes the donkey say NO. One old man came and whispered something in the ear. the donkey said NO. Old man got the prize. he was forced to disclose it in the function ” he asked the donkey – do you want to see Rajnikanth’s movie- BABA once again

243. the bus in which rajnikant was once the conductor has not stopped after rajnikant stepped down from that bus

244. rajnikanth doesn’t walk on water; he simply swims through land

243. rajnikaanth once got angry with his friend and said ” never show me your face again.”
After that the friend is known as big boss

244. World cup 2011 grouping…..
Group A: AUS,PAK,SL,NZ,ZIM,CANADA,KENYA,IND,SA,ENG,WI
BAN,IRL and NETHERLAND

Group B: RAJNIKANTH.

245. once RAJNIKANTH had a fight with a shark. he killed the shark by drowning it

246.  Once RAJNIKANTH went for a morning walk police arrested him because he Reached U.S.A. without Visa

247. Rajnikanth got inspired by superman , batman and hanuman and wanted to beat them all in a single shot so he wore underwear over lungi , grew a tail to his back and wore a bedsheet behind him

248. Rajnikanth can send sms from his calculator

249. Before showers came to human minds Ranjikanth was having Niagra falls in his home

250. Once Gabar was crying n his mom told “beta chup ho ja warna rajnikanth aaa jaye ga”